Published 12:43 IST, December 2nd 2019
Alia Bhatt on sister's battle with depression: Feel guilty for not understanding Shaheen
"The reason I didn't want to cry was that it'll become 'Alia sheds a tear.' I love her so much, with all the muscle and cell in my body," Alia said at an event.
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Alia Bhatt on Sunday said she felt guilty for being a "terrible sister" for t understanding Shaheen as much as she should have during latter's battle with depression. actor said she got more clarity on her sister's mental state after reing her book "I've Never Been (un)Happier". Alia, who accompanied Shaheen at a session on mental health, h multiple breakdowns while talking about what her sister went through.
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"I am suddenly feeling very nervous. I am very nervous that I am going to start crying any minute because once we start talking about my sister and her...," Alia said, choking. actor broke down and was consoled by her sister. I feel extremely proud, heartbroken and overjoyed at same time. Even though I've lived with my sister my whole life, 26 years, I only understood what she was going through after reing her book. That makes me feel, on so many levels, so terrible as a sister. I feel like I didn't put myself out re eugh to understand her, to think about what she was going through," Alia said.
Alia said on a subliminal level, everyone understood that re are certain situations which are different for Shaheen, but her book me her understand what she was going through. "What makes me really emotional," Alia broke down again, and ded, "I always believed that she is most brilliant person in family but somehow she never believed it herself. That always broke my heart. t just me, everyone feels like this for her, that when Shaheen walks into a room, it's like a star is re because genuinely she with her mind, emotional quotient, way she makes you feel, it's of ar extreme."
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When asked if she feels guilty for t being sensitive, Alia said, "I was sensitive but I do feel guilty for t understanding her as much as I should have. I do understand much better w." Shaheen, however, said understanding what depression means can be a task for people. "It is impossible to kw intricacies of it (depression) unless you've gone through it... What she's reacting to is that. Maybe she didn't understand intricacies. I don't think she has anything to be guilty for, at all. ...It has been 20 years w, for me depression is chronic, it's even w. Talking about having times when I don't want to live, it happened to me a couple of months ago. I hn't felt that in a really long time. It h been a really long time since those thoughts and feelings came back. I attempted suicide when I was 17-18 as well," she ded.
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Alia said when a person whom one loves with all ir heart goes through depression, it's impossible to t get emotional. " reason I didn't want to cry was that it'll become 'Alia sheds a tear.' But it isn't about that. I don't want it to become focus but I'm sorry I just can't help but cry. I love her so much, with all muscle and cell in my body."
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(WITH PTI INPUTS)
12:36 IST, December 2nd 2019