World Elder Abuse Awareness Day: Senior citizens recall abuse, torture by families

New Delhi, Jun 16 (PTI) Champiya, who is in her late 80s, does t fear COVID-19. She says years of mental torture and physical abuse by her children have prepared her to deal with "anything in life".

This World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, elderly like Champiya recall trauma y went through before parting ways with ir loved ones.

"Once, one of my sons slapped me so hard I couldn't hear from one ear. I still remember one night he pulled me out of my room by my hair and kept hitting me," resident of Mann ka Tilak old home in Delhi recalled.

"I only knew that time was passing because I saw Sun rising," she said.

After s of torture and abuse, Champiyas's youngest grand-daughter rescued her and brought her to old home. "w I don't fear anything in life, t even dreed coronavirus," she said.

Shabana (name changed), 78, lives alone in a one-bedroom apartment in ida. She lived with her son earlier but decided to move out after abuse started.

"It was first neglect n verbal abuse. But when y stopped giving me food and asked me to fend for myself, I knew I should leave," she said.

Shabana said her late husband h left some money for her with which she bought a home for herself. For past 10 years, she has been living alone and surviving on his pension.

Rukmanni, who is in her 70s, recalls how she would sit near phone in an old home, day after day waiting for her son's call, which never came.

"I stayed with my youngest son, but he struggled to find a job. Finally, he mitted to me that he could t afford to take care of me, and he h to send me away.

"Overnight, my world was turned upside down, I begged and pleed with him, told him that I would do anything but he refused to listen and dropped me at an old home," she said.

Rajesh (name changed) was thrown out on streets by his son on a cold December night.

He w lives with his sister, but says he still gets nightmares of getting hit by his son frequently.

"I just h one son and after my wife died re was use of me. I tried to show him that I can be productive by doing household chores but that was t satisfactory for him and his wife and y threw me out one day. Since n I moved in with my sister," he said.

He hopes that one goes through trauma he underwent and people become more compassionate towards ir old parents.

"y should remember that we were ones who taught m to walk and try to be patient with us," he said.

According to psychiatrist Rabia Hasan, it is often seen that even if elderly do t undergo extreme abuse, re is a form of neglect and igrance which affects most of m.

"With nuclear lives becoming predominant, it has been seen that old parents feel y have been left behind. Many of m feel igred," she said.

Hasan vised people to make efforts to eng ir old parents in ir day to day lives that will give m a feeling of being relevant.

Sonali Sharma, he of communications at Help India, said re is excuse for neglecting or abusing one's parents.

"When we were young, our parents would very patiently answer all our questions but this generation does t understand that. re is a constant feeling of disrespect and neglect that older people face today," she said.

ting that neglect, verbal abuse and isolation are three top forms of abuse that elderly suffer from, Sharma said it has been seen that main abusers are ir own children, eir sons or daughter-in laws.

"We tell a couple of things to both generations -- to older people we tell that re is maintenance act (Maintenance and Welfare of Senior Citizens Act, 2007) under which if you do t look after your parents n you can be jailed and you can be fined so this is a legal tool that can be used by elderly and we sensitize m to use it to protect mselves," she said.

"Secondly, we tell m that matter how much ever you love your child please do t give m everything through your will till you are alive. We tell m to retain hold and power in ir hands so we tell m that do t give your core ecomic strength to your caretaker," she said.

Moreover, she said elderly need to become independent digitally.

"re is a huge digital divide between abuser and abused so we keep telling older people that you need to become independent and t depend on your child for everything. We conduct digital literacy classes for basic digital empowerment of elderly," she ded.