Vanessa Bryant thanks Kobe for love on 42nd birthday, calls his death "horrible nightmare"

The sporting world celebrated what would have been Kobe Bryant's 42nd birthday this weekend, writing messages for the late NBA legend on social media. Vanessa Bryant shared an emotional letter for Bryant and their daughter Gianna on her Instagram account, missing her husband and daughter. The post wished Bryant on his birth anniversary, as Vanessa opened up about her struggles with dealing with the helicopter crash that killed her husband, daughter and seven others on January 26.

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Kobe Bryant birthday: Vanessa Bryant shares an emotional letter written to Kobe Bryant on his birthday

She started the letter by wishing Bryant and hoping that Gianna and the five-time NBA champion were with them to celebrate his special day. "I wish I could make you your fav food or a birthday cake with my Gigi," Vanessa wrote, " I miss your big hugs, your kisses, your smile, your loud ass deep laugh."

Vanessa further added that she missed making Bryant laugh and is constantly thinking about him, who gave her strength to deal with difficult situations. Vanessa then speaks about having trouble dealing with their loss, honestly speaking about feeling "empty" without the two of them, and being "completely broken inside". However, Vanessa is determined to put a smile on her face every day to make her daughters smile, making their "days shine a little brighter".

"I'm not the strong one, they are. They're strong and resilient. I'm sure you're proud of them. They put a smile on my face everyday," she wrote. Bryant and Gianna were travelling to the Mamba Sports Academy in Thousand Oaks for one of Gianna's basketball games when the helicopter crashed. 

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She continues to refer to their deaths as a "horrible nightmare", something she wishes she could wake up from and surprise her daughters by bringing Bryant and Gianna home. Vanessa then expresses her anger, stating that she wanted to be the one to go first, and is mad that she couldn't do so. "I always wanted to go first so that I selfishly didn't have to feel this heartache. You were supposed to miss me. Gigi was supposed to be here with her sisters. It should've been me."

In the end, Vanessa thanked the Los Angeles Lakers icon for showing her true love, and loving her "enough to last several lifetimes". She is confident that Gianna is celebrating with him, just like she always did. "I miss my thoughtful princess so much!" Vanessa added. Their eldest daughter, Natalia, also posted for her father, saying how much she misses her "movie buddy", and will continue to miss their time together. 

Natalia Bryant post on Kobe Bryant birthday

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(Image credits: Natalia Bryant, Vanessa Bryant Instagram)