You can pull yourself out of hole like I did: Uthappa offers hope after Thorpe's untimely death

Former India cricketer Robin Uthappa has once again felt urgent need to speak about his battle with depression following untimely death of ex-England batter Graham Thorpe, who committed suicide earlier this month.

Speaking on his Youtube channel, Uthappa recalled darkest days of his life between 2009 and 2011 when he contemplated suicide.

Besides Thorpe, former India pacer David Johnson died earlier this year after jumping from fourth floor of his apartment.

"I'm gonna be talking about depression and suicide. And we've heard about multiple people who have, even recently, cricketers who've, ended ir lives because of depression," said Uthappa.

"Even in past, we've heard of athletes and cricketers who went into ir lives because of clinical depression and just being suicidal. And I personally have been re as well. So I kw for a fact that it's t a pretty journey. It is very challenging. It is debilitating. It is exhausting. And it is heavy." Uthappa, who played 46 ODIs and 13 T20s for India, offered his condolences to Thorpe's family, having battled serious mental illness himself.

"That's how it feels. It's heavy, it's burdensome. And I often felt when I was going through clinical depression as a burden onto myself even. Forget people around me. I felt I was... just going through life in a way that was... far from where I wanted to be and I h answers.

"Life didn't feel sustainable. My heart goes out to Graham Thorpe and his family. I can't imagine what he went through to be able to do what he did. My prayers go out to his family, so as to David Johnson from India as well, similar circumstances." Uthappa feels people from all walks of life are impacted by mental health including elite athletes like himself and Thorpe.

"How do you deal with it? What do you experience actually? I think even before getting to how do you deal with it? What does one experience? You feel like you're worthless.

"You feel like you're a burden to people you love. You feel like absolutely hopeless and every step feels like heavier and heavier and heavier. You just feel immobile.

"I went through weeks and months, years of just t wanting to get out of bed. I remember in 2011, I went entire year so ashamed of who I'd become as a human being that I couldn't look at myself in mirror. And I went all of 2011 just t looking myself in mirror." Karnataka cricketer offered ways to deal with depression, indicating re is light at end of tunnel.

"But I just want to tell you that whatever it is, re is a way out of this. first thing that one needs to do that is to ackwledge to yourself that yes re is something wrong." Living in denial won't help, stressed Uthappa. "If we live in denial n it's going to be very hard to pull yourself out of that hole. You've got to ackwledge to yourself that I'm t feeling great, I'm feeling like this and I'm feeling everything that I'm feeling.

"Maybe a great way to do that would be to just pen down some tes. That's how I figured out that something's wrong with me.

" second thing that one can do is speak to someone about it. Someone that you trust. Someone that you perhaps love. Just speak to m that this is how you feel. That you're t feeling okay.

"Because when you don't share what you're going through, what tends to happen is that it starts possessing a lot of power over you. negative talk inside, that chatter inside becomes stronger and stronger and stronger." Uthappa said seeking professional help goes a long way in helping one tackle mental illness.

" third step would be to actually seek help from somebody. A good professional goes a long way. Ideally someone that you don't necessarily kw.

"And how do you figure out if you're seeking help from right person? w that would be fourth step. fourth step is to figure out if you have got a good counsellor.

"w who is a good counsellor? A good counsellor according to me is someone who doesn't offer you solutions but a good counsellor is someone who asks you right questions and empowers you to figure out your own solutions.

“Because in that process of empowerment, your confidence slowly begins to build.”