South Sudan’s former child soldiers struggle to move on

 When he escaped armed group that h abducted him at of 15, child soldier swore he’d never go back. But South Sudanese teen still thinks about returning to bush, six months after United Nations secured his release.

“Being asked to kill someone is hardest thing,” he told Associated Press, speaking on condition of anymity for his safety. And yet army offered him a kind of stability he has yet to find outside it. “I h everything, bedding and clos, I’d just steal what I needed ... here, I haven’t received what I was expecting,” he said.

He lives with family, rift, waiting to attend a U.N.-sponsored job skills program, struggling to forget his past.

re are an estimated 19,000 child soldiers in South Sudan, one of highest rates in world, according to U.N. As country emerges from a five-year civil war that killed almost 400,000 people and displaced millions, some worry fighting could re-ignite if former child soldiers aren’t properly reintegrated into society.

“Without more support, consequence is that children will move towards barracks where re’s social connection, food and something to do,” said William Deng Deng, chairman for South Sudan’s national disarmament demobilization and reintegration commission. “y loot and raid and it will begin to create insecurity.”

Since fighting broke out in 2013, U.N. children’s ncy has facilitated release of more than 3,200 child soldiers from both government and opposition forces.

Yet even after a peace deal was signed a year ago, rate of forced child soldier recruitment by both sides in conflict is increasing, U.N. Commission on Human Rights in South Sudan said in a statement earlier this month.

“Ironically, prospect of a peace deal has accelerated forced recruitment of children, with various groups w seeking to boost ir numbers before y move into cantonment sites,” said commission chairwoman Yasmin Sooka. According to peace deal government and opposition should have 41,500 troops trained and unified into one national army.

Children who leave armed groups often struggle to just at home.

AP followed several child soldiers among 121 released in February. Many said y are still haunted by ir pasts, unable to talk about ir experiences for fear of being stigmatized and often incapable of controlling ir anger.

“Whenever I think about bush, even if I’m playing football, I feel like stopping and picking something up and hitting my friends,” said a 13-year-old. AP is t using names of former child soldiers to protect ir identities.

Abducted by armed men when he was 11, he worked as a spy for an opposition group and at times was forced to witness and partake in horrific acts. He watched a soldier kill a child for refusing to do his chores, and he was forced to set a house on fire, burning alive everyone inside.

“I hear those people screaming in my dreams,” he said.

Once released, former child soldiers are given a three-month reintegration pack including food and opportunity for educational and psychosocial support. However, system is overburdened and underfunded.

“It’s a lot of work. Sometimes I can only spend 15 to 20 minutes with each child,” said Joseph Ndepi, a social worker with World Vision who is supporting 46 children.

Many families don’t kw how to deal with ir children’s change in behavior once y’ve returned.

“When he initially got out he was so rough he’d beat kids, and when our mom tried to intervene he’d turn on her,” one 16-year-old said of her elder bror. Both children were abducted and released from armed groups at same time.

While girl wanted to forget past, her bror tried to relive it.

At night he’d sneak out of house and perform mock ambushes to see how close he could get to robbing people’s properties without being caught, 17-year-old said. Since starting rapy he has stopped late-night excursions and reined in his temper.

Some of children’s behavior is related to power y felt in army, said Kutiote Justin, a social worker with Catholic Medical Mission Board, an international aid group. One former child soldier he works with insists on calling himself “ commander.”

A lack of resources for reintegration could hurt long-term assistance.

About 420 children have participated in vocational courses to learn professions such as welding, carpentry and tailoring, yet it’s unclear if re will be eugh funding to continue past December.

Almost $5 million is needed for next two years but currently only $500,000 is available, according to UNICEF.

“Dors aren’t funding to same extent y used to and w re’s potentially an even greater need,” said spokesman Yves Willemot. And more child soldiers are expected to be released in near future, he said.

South Sudan’s government isn’t investing in child soldier reintegration, according to national disarmament, demobilization and reintegration commission. hope is that once a unity government is formed in mid-vember, a key part of peace deal, international community will be more inclined to contribute.

But peace deal is fraught with delays and questionable political will. government hasn’t committed $100 million it pledged for peace process, and key elements such as training a unified army have yet to be realized.

Meanwhile, families whose children have returned from fighting are doing what y can to keep m from leaving again.

In August 17-year-old felt lonely, so he packed his bags and heed for bush. He got as far as main ro before his family’s words echoed through his he.

“Stay with your people, don’t go to that place,” he said, recalling ir vice. “Just stay here in peace.”